I think I’m actually kind of bored with knitting socks right now.

Who’d have thought that was even possible? I guess it’s mainly because we’re in the dead of summer and I haven’t worn socks in months. So I’m more interested in knitting my latest Clapotis, even though I won’t be able to wear that even further in the future than I’ll be able to wear socks, but who said my tactics ever made *sense?*

Earlier this afternoon, I bought a couple books on Amazon (thanks, Annie!) and was pleasantly surprised to find a new novel by Anita Shreve. She used to be my absolute favorite author, until Diana Gabaldon surpassed her in my mind. So I ordered Anita’s new novel, Body Surfing, even though her novels tend to make me feel very pensive and sometimes even depressed. But as much as I love Diana’s books, it’s Anita’s writing style that I feel most inspired by.

Which reminds me, I haven’t written anything (creatively speaking) in a very long time. That makes me sad. I used to feel inspired and would stop whatever I was doing (literally) to jot down a phrase or potential plot, an idea for a character, anything. Seriously. Sometimes I would pull over while DRIVING and jot down an idea because I knew if I didn’t, I would probably lose it and never remember it. Where did my writing mojo go?

I wonder if it has been absorbed into my knitting. Knitting, after all, is still creativity in action. I just miss the writer in me. It’s kind of like an actual person that I used to know, but lost touch with and now I’m trying to track them down through Google and can’t find anything, or something. You know?

I wonder what would happen if I didn’t knit for one week–would my brain spit out a short story? Why can’t I knit AND write? It’s weird. Maybe my poor brain can only handle one creative expression at a time. Not very genius, that. At this point in my life, I can’t imagine NOT knitting. I really believe it keeps me sane and has gotten me through some of the toughest times I’ve ever been through in recent months.

Then again, I used to think that I could never imagine not writing either, and that’s exactly what I’m doing. Or not doing, as the case may be.

sigh. I hate the feeling that something which used to be so important is now missing, but it’s one of those things that you can’t just snap your fingers and manifest, get back that easily. It’s a huge bummer!

Someone help me track down my writing mojo!!

Posted: July 15th, 2007 under Bookworm, Deep Thoughts, Knitting, The Writer.
Comments: 3

I’m trying really hard not to translate this as:

Hi, your writing sucks! Have a nice day!

My first rejection letter. sigh.

What would Stephen King do…

Posted: January 8th, 2007 under The Writer.
Comments: 4

I just posted this to myspace, but I figure it belongs here, too.

This is my grandmother and me. I would have had no clue when this was taken if the photo hadn’t been date-stamped on the back–1986. I was 6, she was…65, give or take a year.

I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately.

I owe my Narrative Writing teacher a nonfiction narrative piece but I’ve been utterly clueless about what to write. Some great writer I am.

I forgot I had this photo. I dug it out of a photo album, out of a drawer today. And now I think I know. I think I’m supposed to write about her.

It’s been five years since she died.

Posted: October 16th, 2006 under Deep Thoughts, The Writer.
Comments: 5

oh dearie me, I have spent last night and tonight agonizing, travailing over my short story for creative writing class. I wrote my initial draft last weekend and posted it in my class for peer review. No one has reviewed it yet. In fact, my study group members seem to have fallen off the earth, or at least this side of the Internet. ok.

Then I waited all week to continue working on my story because, as I like to word it, I need to “marinate” my ideas before setting them down right. I know, I know, all the writing advice is to “write everyday, about everything” but that just feels forced to me. Because let’s face it, sometimes you just aren’t inspired and if the most you’re going to write about creatively is the dishwasher, you should probably just not write. Wait a day or two, and true inspiration will come. That’s what I think.

Anyway, so last night my creativity finished marinating and I sat down to continue my story. I’m supposed to have at least five pages but no more than ten for this assignment, keep in mind. Last night I wrote straight for three hours and did not finish until 3 AM. Brilliant!! It was the creative zone–sucked me right in. I *loved* it. loveloveloved it.

I’ve always heard writers say that their characters “wrote themselves,” or something to the effect of, “I just let her talk, and I wrote it all down.” That always struck me as slightly schizo, until now. Now I understand. (Or I’m schizo too.)

I had the basic plot, characters, and story in my head. Somewhere between the marinating and writing, the characters literally transformed themselves and, well, I just wrote it down. (Really helpful and explanatory, that.) Again, I can only describe it as being in the creative zone; things just clicked, and flowed.

Tonight I’ve been working on the story–finishing it, actually–for another couple of hours. Remember how I said that it had to be at least five but no longer than ten pages long? Right. Well, I just copied the entire text of my story into Word (I compose in Copywrite, the freeware version), and my story is THIRTEEN pages long. oy. oy! What to do? And I was even wanting to add more to it tomorrow before it’s due to turn in! egads.

The main reason it’s so long is all my crazy character development. I had to explain, after all, why my characters are about to do what I know they’re going to do and it took me a considerable amount of deliberation to figure out the ending. (I decided not to kill someone off after all; that just didn’t work out.) I simply can’t imagine cutting out anything. Everything I put in the beginning was for a purpose; I didn’t want to just dive into the action without any logic or reason why.

I’m wondering if my professor will understand why I wrote the story so long, and maybe I should just leave it as is? But I know in the morning I’ll end up re-re-re-editing it, and changing some things as I always do, and certainly adding some things, and it will possibly end up being 16 pages instead of 13. But hey, if they’re a good 16 pages, then surely he won’t deduct for my going over the limit, right? Hopefully?

It’s late. Even possibly schizo crazy writers need sleep.

[tags]writing, college[/tags]

Posted: July 30th, 2006 under Miss Education, The Writer.
Comments: 3

Normally I’d just be coming home from work, but today I took a sick day. Actually, I overslept by half an hour–the second time in two months–but when I woke up, I did feel semi-queasy and overall yucky. So I called my supervisor and told him I wasn’t feeling well. He was okay with it, so I went back to bed at 6:30 AM and didn’t get out of bed till 12:30 PM, when the husband came home for lunch.

I also think that I overslept A) because I stayed up till midnight last night watching the latest Project Runway, but mainly B) because I am sick of my job and just don’t want to go anymore. I just looked at the Help Wanted ads, again, for the third time this week, with no luck.

“Every being has a purpose.” That’s one of the lines in Lady in the Water, the latest M. Night Shyamalan film that is getting extremely poor reviews, but which the husband and I both liked overall. Well, assuming that is true, and my being a…being, I sure wish I would find my purpose.

Right now in my creative writing class, we’re doing short stories. I am SO nervous about this assignment. It is worth 20% of our overall grade. On both poetry and creative non-fiction, I got Bs, and I really want an A on my short story. To prove to myself that I really am an excellent writer, I guess. Though, if I get a B, that will tell me I’m a good writer, and that will be okay too. But I really would like an A! (I place far too much value on my grades, I know. It is the perfectionist syndrome.)

I’m really excited about my story, though. If it goes well, I might even post it here (as a protected entry). I’ve emailed my professor about it, though, because I’m not sure if it’s going in the direction it should be:

• My characters don’t have names. At all. I kind of like the idea that they’re anonymous because I want to focus on the character development and plot anyway. But I’m not sure if all the “he, she, him, and her”s are getting tedious.
• The subject matter–it’s a relationship story, and I’m not sure if it’s a bit too Oprah’s Book Club or chick-lit for this class. I’m nervous that my teacher (a man) won’t really “get” the story.
• Most important is the ending. I’ve got at least three possible endings, two of which aren’t exactly “happy” (I’m thinking of killing off a character). The one “happy” ending isn’t 100% happy, but it might be the most realistic. gah! I need more time to figure out this story, but it is due on Sunday night, so I don’t have any clue what to do with it! Make it work!

I also had a fleeting thought the other day, that if this whole writer thing doesn’t work out, and the whole “I want to open a yarn shop” thing doesn’t work out either, maybe someday I can write for a knitting magazine, or something. Interweave Knits, anyone? I could write about yarn!

As always, I am constantly in need of guidance. (Ironically, my academic advisor at my college is leaving, so I guess I’ll be reassigned to someone new. She is leaving to pursue “new career opportunities.” Good for her, I guess!)

[tags]work, lady in the water, college, writing[/tags]

Posted: July 27th, 2006 under Miss Education, My So-Called Life, The Writer.
Comments: 8

- A quiet room really is the best room in which to write. So when the husband is not here blasting the TV, I can actually have a creative process! Yes!

- My creative writing class is going really well so far. I’m going to kick butt in it, seriously! (I hope…)

- The Writer’s Book of Matches is brilliant! I have somehow rediscovered my creative spark, after not writing anything creative for…a couple years? Has it been that long? Crazy.

- Strangely, I feel like my life is beginning to fall into a sense of order. Not that everything is defined right now, but since I’ve started writing again, I feel like everything is a little less random. Work is pretty much the same, but even yesterday, when it almost went badly (e.g., people trying to imply that I didn’t do my job correctly), I fixed the situation myself (i.e., I showed them the actual proof that I had done my job, so there, dorks).

I find myself lately in a rather good mood, and I’m not sure how much of it has to do with my creative writing, my resolve to be healthier, or what, but I am taking it and saying thanks at any rate.

[tags]life, good things, random[/tags]

Posted: June 3rd, 2006 under My So-Called Life, The Writer.
Comments: 5

Possibly boring school details follow…feel free to skip to the bottom, where the knitting content is.

In efforts not to feel stressed about my classes during the summer, and to become more organized on a daily basis, I’ve sort of psyched myself up about things. School especially; I’m looking at my creative writing class with enthusiasm and as an opportunity to refine my writing skills.

I’ve always scribbled stories and poetry, ever since I was a child. The farthest back I can remember is age six. I used to write short stories and type them up on our typewriter. I am pretty sure I still have those stories…somewhere. I remember distinctly that one was called “The Circus.” My parents never took my sisters and I to the circus. Ever! Hence, I had to make up a story about it.

Anyhow, one of my first assignments for creative writing is writing poetry. I think that will be the easiest part of the class for me. Next is short stories; I’ve written those, but I’m a bit nervous about my professor analyzing them. I’ll also have to write some “creative nonfiction” and a short screenplay! That will be a first for me. Everything about this class is kind of nerve-wracking, but really exciting at the same time.

My other class is an elective, Intro to Women’s Studies, and I’m not too worried about it. I only have a few papers and projects…I think it will be a cinch.

If I weren’t an English major, I think I would be either a Psychology major or a Women’s Studies major. Though I’m sure the husband would just DIE if I majored in Women’s Studies. I can hear him now: “You want to be a professional feminist?!?!” hahaha. (He is the stereotypical Southern good ol’ Republican boy. How did we ever end up together.)

So, back to getting organized. Before classes started today, I printed out all my syllabi, etcetera, and organized all the paperwork in my homework binder. I made up labels and tabs and I am determined to take a better approach to my homework than I did last semester! (Though I did well last time, I still had a bad habit of procrastinating.) So today, the first day of classes, I did some reading and one of my assignments that isn’t due till the weekend. I’ve also planned my homework for tomorrow. Hopefully I can keep this steady pace going!

As for knitting, I have begun Green Gable! (In blue, btw.) I thought I didn’t have any stash yarn to use…I even tried subbing some yarns, but I could not get the correct gauge. I actually swatched a bit, something I never do! I thought I was going to have to buy new yarn…then I remembered that I have had this Rowan Calmer yarn (four balls) in my stash for ages, seriously. I’ve never found the right project to use it on. Until now! I got gauge perfectly and cast on for GG. I’m about to start the fourth lace repeat. It’s really easy so far; the directions are clear and easy to follow. I just hope it fits!

Today is a pretty good day…I think I will go exercise my writing skills some more!

[tags]college, writing, knitting, greengable[/tags]

Posted: May 30th, 2006 under Knitting, Miss Education, My So-Called Life, The Writer.
Comments: 2