joy.
It’s already the end of the first work week in January 2008. sheesh! Where does all the time go? Really, where does it go?
I’ve been packing my lunches since declaring a yarn/book diet, and saved quite a bit of money already since I wasn’t eating out this week. The yarn/book diet, btw, was quickly renamed to the yarn/book fast, as “diet” just did not seem to encompass the feeling of a very long six months ahead.
When I was at the grocery store earlier this week, I bought a lottery ticket, one of the scratchers–and won $5. 
I need to redeem it. Also, after waiting something like 6 months, I finally received a rebate check from Sprint for $50, yay! Sprint bought back my phone from my previous service with them (I’m with T-Mobile now). Rebates always take so long to process (allegedly), but it’s nice to receive a check eventually. I’m thinking this will go straight to savings.
But I’m not excited about having to buy a new tire for my car today. I don’t think I ever mentioned it here that the car I’ve been using since I moved back is officially mine now. My parents gifted it to me, since they had no use for it–they bought a new car when I moved back in. So it’s in my name and it’s my insurance (another expense woo), and consequently, I need to buy a new tire. (It was patched a few months ago and now it’s leaking air, lovely.) oh the joys of adulthood, hm?
I really dream of moving out and being truly on my own, I know I talk about that all the time here…at least it seems like I do. I’m just SO fixated on that goal, it’s driving me crazy not being able to do it. I’m basically a homebody, I think…I like being at home by myself most of the time, with just my dogs for company…I know that’s kind of weird but I like solitude. I like having the quiet as a backdrop for knitting, thinking, creating, just peace and quiet. And that’s something I don’t often have anymore, if ever. I don’t know…I ramble…but I just want to do the things *I* want to do finally, and not have someone looking over my shoulder and shaking their head at my mistakes…
I know some people have it a lot tougher than I do, I know that. Life is one day at a time and paycheck to paycheck and it’s hard to see past it all and feel any joy. What is that? Is it real? Will I ever find it?
I think I need more sleep, staying up too late is taking its toll on my thought processes, maybe.
Posted: January 4th, 2008 under Deep Thoughts, My So-Called Life.
Comments: 5
Comments
Comment from Mary
Time: January 4, 2008, 11:01 am
Are you too young to have missed watching “The Facts of Life?” It is a sick, sick thing, but sometimes I do indeed take those old 80s show theme songs to heart, especially when the world is kinda sucking. They are cheesey and corny and sometimes exactly what I need. Lately I’ve been finding that “playing” adult sucks. But I kinda knew it all along, thanks to too much TV as a kid:
You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life. There’s a time you got to go and show You’re growin’ now you know about The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.
When the world never seems to be livin up to your dreams And suddenly you’re finding out the Facts of Life are all about you, you. It takes a lot to get ‘em right When you’re learning the Facts of Life.
***
What I keep striving for is that “good” they talk about :).
Comment from sassenach
Time: January 4, 2008, 11:15 am
I *loved* Facts of Life! Especially when it went into the late 80s and George Clooney was on. 
Thank you
Comment from kc
Time: January 4, 2008, 8:14 pm
I think it’s good you are so fixated on your goal, even though it is frustrating not being “there” yet. It gives you something to work toward and you will feel SO good when it happens! (and it will!)
even though you have to buy a tire, it’s pretty sweet the car is yours now! at least it’s just a tire, right?
Comment from Allison
Time: January 4, 2008, 9:38 pm
I’m totally with you on just chilling at home. When I’m home for break there’s usually a day or two when my parents are at work and my sister at school and I seriously get so much more done when I’m all by myself.
Comment from amy
Time: January 5, 2008, 5:39 am
i totally know how you feel! moving back home after being somewhat on your own is sooo hard! you’ll ge there eventually! the more you want something, the more likely it is to happen 
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