Thanks for all the suggestions on how to improve my cholesterol. A lot of you said to eat lots of oatmeal, so yesterday I bought some, along with fresh fruit and bottled water (subtitute for all the Starbucks I drink every morning). I went to Subway for lunch yesterday instead of my beloved Chick-Fil-A, which was just as tasty (tuna on wheat + no mayo or oil + veggies + vinegar) but I noticed that I did get hungry earlier than I normally do. By 4 PM, I was ready for dinner.

And sigh…mad rant ahead…

Of course, I got the obligatory “we told you so” from my parents. I am soooooo, soooooo, sooooooooooooo ready to move out and you can bet that I will once…er…I win the lottery or find a better-paying job. I hate to be such a whiner all the time because I DO appreciate them taking me back in after Le Divorce,  but come on. Something’s got to give. Making me feel like a screw-up all the time isn’t good either, you know.

Case in point: while my mom is *usually* not as bad as my dad, she still loves saying “I told you so.” What is up with that? Does that boost her self-esteem, maybe? I know, I know, she’s a mom. But really, I think they derive some kind of pleasure from seeing me mess up, whilst simultaneously berating me for being so stupid. eh??? yeah, it doesn’t make sense to me either.

And the thing is, they complain because I eat out so much, but then when I eat at home, they cook things like fried rice and eggrolls and various other fried sundries. My mom even admitted yesterday that she has been frying too much lately. ok, so it’s not 100% my fault then, is it? Granted, what I eat when I go out *is* my responsibility. But they can’t complain that I have too many burgers and then feed me deep-fried eggrolls at home, either. That’s kind of counter productive.

Other case in point: I was so proud of myself for actually TAKING the doctor’s advice to heart and deciding to change my diet. Immediately after work yesterday,  I went to the doctor’s to pick up my follow-up bloodwork form, which I’ll have redrawn in 3 months and which will test my cholesterol, post-trying to be healthy. I’m going to start walking every evening again, which I had stopped doing during the summer because I was making excuses and being lazy. So I got the oatmeal, the fruit, the water, blah blah…went home. And ugh.

I told my mom that I got some oatmeal for breakfast, and she said, “We already have some here.” And I said, “This is the flavored kind, so I’ll actually *eat* it.” (I already knew the flavored has a bit more sugar than the original, but just work with me here.) Then my dad, the ever-present killjoy, said, “Hmph, that has too much sugar.”

I. almost. lost. it.

I just said, “Well I already bought it, I’m not going to return it. It doesn’t have THAT much sugar.” I think my mom sensed a head-to-head about to ensue, so she just said “ok” and that was it. She then proceeded to fix ramen for dinner (I’m being serious), which btw isn’t that loaded with sodium? hello??

My point is, why are they consistently dissing my efforts–to get a second job in order to pay my debt, to change my eating habits so I become somewhat healthier–and then do the counter-productive crap right after? ARG! See what I’m dealing with here, people? It is making me CRAZY. There is no positive reinforcement, no support. Just you’re doing this wrong, you’re doing that wrong. OMGWTFBBQTNTABCDEFG. lol

But wait! There’s more! My mom said to toast some bread or something so I would feel full, and I said I didn’t want any, then made the mistake of saying I would eat a granola bar later if I still felt hungry, because I got some of those at the store, too. And she said, “Yeah, but the problem with that is those have sugar too.”

ARGGGGGG

How ’bout I just go outside like a COW and nibble on some grass for a bit? Then go dip my tongue into the lake and lap up some water? How’s that?

ok, I’m being sarcastic but you get the picture. I don’t think the issue here is that I am going to DIE if I have a bit of sugar, I think it’s just that my parents are making me CRAZY with their eccentric selves and I may need to have a breakdown before the year is over. Maybe.

oh, and btw, remember the library job I applied for? They called me for an interview because they liked my typing test results and resume. But the position was part-time days only, and I was wanting nights and weekends. So it didn’t work out. My dad had been FLIPPING OUT because the library and area were “dangerous” and “in the middle of nowhere” and see? I ended up not even going for that job anyway. So he almost burst a freaking blood vessel over nothing. So stupid.

ok, I’m done ranting for now, I think. Just understand that when I say my parents are making me crazy, I’m not exaggerating all that much. It’s those types of things every day of my life. Nit pick here, insult there, totally shooting down my efforts to do better things for myself. Eventually, all those little things add up. And pretty soon, I’m going to HAVE to move out for my own sanity (taking my dogs with me too), or I’m going to have to start seeing a therapist again, or SOMEthing. I’m at the end of my proverbial rope most days. I’d hate for them to find me swinging from it one day.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 12th, 2007 at 10:10 am and is filed under Mad Rants, My So-Called Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.