Before I quit my job in New Mexico, I told the girl who was taking my place (with whom I’d worked for several months) that she could contact me if she had any questions about the job. She’s a really high-strung person with a scatterbrain personality, and her supervisor was new too and barely knew anything about his job (let’s not even go there), so I wanted to be nice and help her out. I didn’t want her to get in trouble for not having anyone there to ask when she needed guidance.
Well.
Since I left that job in early February, this girl has been emailing me quite a bit for work help. No problem, I gave her permission to do that. And I’ve been replying, offering help when she has questions. This took a turn for the *annoying* when she started asking the same questions repeatedly. As in, “how do I handle this type of situation?” when I JUST explained, in detail, how to do so the week before.
ok. 
A) I have this pet peeve thing about repeating myself several times because when I have to do this, I feel that either the person to whom I’m speaking isn’t paying attention or just can’t retain information and should probably write it down, or something. B) I don’t work there anymore, and my invitation for help was, is, and always has been a COURTESY for her. I don’t *have* to continue helping her. I’m 1,900 miles away in another state and I’m certainly not getting paid to help her out!
I was more ok with helping her in the beginning, when I hadn’t left NM yet and when she was still fairly new to my old job. However, not only did I leave her a “dummy book” chock-full of instructions on the job, but all those repeat questions she keeps asking me? duh, refer to the previous emails she’s sent me on the subject or print them out if she’s not saving them! arg! grr!
Once again, being Ms. Nice Girl seems to have bitten me in the butt, somewhat. (People have also told me I was TOO nice in the divorce and should have fought for money, etc.) Anyway, I’ve started deleting some of the really dumb emails that are just plain common sense (NO, you should not write off a $900 big screen TV if you can get it repaired instead, genius!!). And I’ve also been ignoring some of her emails that address issues she really needs to learn about herself. Simple things that she can ask people over THERE about.
The way I see it, if she has a genuine concern that somehow involves the work *I* did when I was there, fine. Contact me. If she has asked around and no one else can help, fine. Contact me. But asking me for the eleventy-umpteenth time how to do a markdown or chargeback voucher? Girl! Learn!
There, just had to get that out of my system. 
What do you think? Did I set myself up to be annoyed repeatedly when I offered to help her? Should I politely tell her to bugger off and learn it herself? Or should I quietly ignore the majority of her emails, while still replying to the legitimate ones?
Sometimes I really HATE being Ms. Nice Girl. 
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Even though you left her your dummy book, write her that you’ve noticed her repeating some questions and suggest she start printing out your emails so she can refer back to them. Also, maybe say that you’re very busy with your job search and getting settled in and suggest that she ask So-And-So in the office if she’s got a question, since they can help her faster.
And close it up with something like, “I’m sure you’re doing a great job. I know it’s intimidating at first, but don’t second-guess yourself too much!”
I’d start to get firm with her. ie:
The way to do this is XYZ. I have answered this question for you several times previously. Please take a note of this reply and refer to it the next time you’re unsure of what to do in this situation. I am happy to help you, but have neither the time nor the inclination, to repeatedly answer the same question.
Thank you.
I would forward her the replies to the emails you already sent her. I would do that for a couple of weeks, then start ignoring the messages that aren’t worthwhile.
Hmm, I think you are being a super nice person for offering to help her out so much. But it kind of looks like she isn’t trying too hard to learn the job herself since she thinks you’ll be there to answer all her questions at no charge. Sometimes you just need to tell people upfront what the deal is and hope that they get it and aren’t offended, but then again, you have no ties to this person, and you no longer reside in that state. You owe her nothing, you’ve already been kind enough. Geez I sound like such a meanie, I don’t mean too, I’m kinda hungry right now, hmm maybe that’s where the rage is coming from. lol
Everyone’s already said what I was going to!
Remind her (nicely, at first, heh) that you’ve already answered such and such. Remind her of her book she to which she can refer. And let her know that she really can’t depend on you - you don’t want to doing your old job two months from now, right? You don’t have to be mean, you just need to be honest with her. She might not even realize she is bothering you, you know?
Good advice…thanks, everyone!
I haven’t heard anything from her today yet (thank God), so maybe she’s starting to get the hint that I’m not sitting on pins and needles, waiting for her messages.
I’ll see what happens in the next few days, though…
Tell her that you are busy with the job hunt 900 miles away, that you will be working soon and will no longer be available to her, point out that much of what she has asked is in the dummy book, suggest a “go to” person there, and tell her that you will try to help but your time is very limited. I agree with the chipper “trust yourself, I’m sure you’re doing great!” ending too.
Do not ever berate yourself for being nice and helpful. Nice is a good thing. The world needs more nice.
Well, I got two more messages today. One I answered (even though I really needn’t), and on the other one, I told her to refer to the instructions I left her. Didn’t hear from her again all day. Maybe it’s working!