yarn and religion.
I’m tired of being melancholy, so I’m attempting to cheer up by immersing myself in knitting and yarn. But not by buying more yarn! Just swapping. 
Green Gable is almost finished! I am literally inches away…I’m just a bit concerned that I might run out of yarn, yikes! We’ll see how that goes.
Work is okay of late. Evil Co-Worker is still, well, evil. My supervisor told me that he is going to be on leave all next week, and I’m taking Wednesday off for my birthday, so ECW will have to hold down the fort all by herself that day, muahahaha. 
She is probably going to be running around like a chicken without her head. Well, you have to learn sometime! I did, we all do! That’s the way it goes. Just get it done already, that’s what I say.
I think sometimes I am really mean on the inside. But I don’t know what’s worse; feeling sort of evil and mean toward certain people, or kissing everyone’s butts and trying to pretend that you like everyone when you really don’t. Semi-evil, or fake? I think I choose semi-evil. But that doesn’t really seem right, does it. I don’t know, I’m just used to the “love your neighbor” creed and to be honest, I’ve never been great at actually doing that.
I suppose it’s sort of a good thing that I don’t currently belong to a church. I’ve belonged to a few in my life, all across the board (Catholic, Pentecostal, non-denominational). But really? I don’t think I was ever a very “good” Christian, whatever that means! Can you just stop being a Christian, I wonder? Have I? It’s all so confusing.
Sometimes I feel like most of the things I have been taught are at worst a lie and at best a heavy fabrication. I stop and ask myself what my instinct and intuition tell me, and I must confess that my intuition is far more liberal than the doctrines I was taught growing up. For example:
Homosexuality
- What I’ve been taught: wrong, not God’s plan, etc.
- My intuition: it doesn’t really matter to me either way!
Abortion
- What I’ve been taught: wrong, murder, all that.
- My intuition: I don’t think I would do it myself, but everyone should choose for themselves how to live and people shouldn’t try to force others to be moral because that just defeats the purpose of morality itself.
Men/Husbands as “head of the house”
- What I’ve been taught: Biblically, the man is the head and the woman is…submissive. (I hate that word.)
- My intuition: why should the man be the head? Is he more important? Do I really believe that man came first, then woman? What if God was a woman! (I’m just saying.)
See what I mean? In recent years, I have adopted a “live and let live” philosophy. I’m not sure when or how that happened, exactly, but that’s where I am now. And it’s completely opposed to everything I was told to think and believe. So yeah, I’m perplexed, to say the least.
If only everything in life were as simple as a skein of yarn, needles, and free time. Then the world would make more sense.
[tags]knitting, religion, beliefs[/tags]
Posted: June 27th, 2006 under Deep Thoughts, Knitting.
Comments: 6
Comments
Comment from Kathryn
Time: June 27, 2006, 6:44 pm
I really believe that spirituality is what is inside you - you don’t have to go to a church to have that. Being a kind person and a good person make you better than any ONE person that goes to church every weekend.
I grew up being Roman Catholic and although I no longer attend it, there are many principles that I continue to hold on to. I belive you should treat others as you would want to be treated, first and fore most. This goes to kindness, polietness, common sence - I can tell you that most people do not treat others this way. But still, every now and then, I encounter a kind person or someone who sees that I have considered them before myself and I get a thank you or a smile.
I do my best not to take offence from other people and their lack of awareness - it makes me a better person knowing that I see the details and they walk on by.
Comment from kc
Time: June 27, 2006, 10:01 pm
Wow, you sure managed to fit a lot into this post! I swear to goodness, Tiffany, we are twins separated at birth! I was thinking, this very day, on my way home from work about Christianity - what it *really* means, in which people I see it the most, why and when and how I do or don’t see it in myself… So many thoughts and questions. Greater minds before us have spent their entire lives questioning the same things, that’s for sure!
Comment from kc
Time: June 27, 2006, 10:03 pm
ps - I totally agree about the simpleness of a skein of yarn, two needles and freetime. Except, part of the joy in knitting is the complications - choosing a pattern, choosing the yarn, mulling over changes, making a mistake and the joy of fixing it - I guess in a way life is like that too?
Oh goodness look at me getting all philosophical!!
Comment from Jen
Time: June 28, 2006, 8:58 am
Hi dearie,
The central tenet of Christianity is that Christ died and in His death He somehow benefited you. If you believe that, you are a Christian, no matter what the other “matters of conscience” or scriptural interpretation issues or even if you don’t really understand the concept of mutual submission. Either He did something that benefits you or He didn’t. The rest will work itself out.
Don’t make the mistake of confusing Christianity with morals. It’s not the same thing, though Christianity does certainly affect one’s morality. Christianity is not about being good. Just don’t let disagreement or doubt about moral issues take you away from the main thing.
Happy Wednesday…
Comment from Emma
Time: June 29, 2006, 1:37 am
I grew up with a lot of different churches around me, mostly different Christian versions. Since I am curious I did participate and many of them, trying them out and wanting to belong and to fit in. I even lost a good friend to one of the more extreme groups. But my inherited and self-propelled belief was far more down to earth, forgiving and inclusive than I have yet found in any organized religion. (Please do not get me started, I could write an essay, just tell me to shut up). Although I sometimes stumble through life, my advise would be to keep listen to what your heart and mind tells you.
Comment from Tiffany
Time: June 29, 2006, 5:10 pm
Kathryn: I think that is a good philosophy. I find myself gravitating towards a similar one as I get older.
kc: yes, exactly! Even knitting itself is simple, yet can get very complicated at the same time! Such is life…what a paradox. hehe, I agree, we are kindred spirits for sure!
Jen: ah, the main thing…I heard once that the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. It’s tough for me to let the details sort themselves out; I’m always wanting to sort them out myself.
Emma: that sounds good to me. I try to trust my instinct and heart, but it certainly gets confusing at times!
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