mixedupbeauty.net just turned 2 years old on May 11.

Posted: May 11th, 2008 under Domain.
Comments: none

Today is THE day. M and I have an appointment with our realtor this afternoon to draw up the offer paperwork on the house. I am so nervous! Up till now, I’ve been fairly confident about making the offer. I think we’ll get the house. But then every so often, my mind stops for a moment and I get this empty-bellied feeling of PANIC! (at the disco) and I think, oh no what if we don’t get it! Or, what if we get it and life is dandy, la di da, then one month we can’t pay our mortgage?? I don’t really have any reason to be worried about these things…I’m just jittery and freaking out, I guess.

In a sense, I feel like we’re taking somewhat of a risk because nothing in life is guaranteed, right? I mean, recently a tornado swept through a neighboring city in this area–a TORNADO!–and a bunch of people lost their houses. What governs the universe? Is it all chaos? It doesn’t help that my parents seem intent on freaking me out even worse than I already am. They are convinced that the neighborhood is borderline ghetto. When I came home from work last night, how did my mom greet me? “You know someone got shot in that neighborhood. In the HEAD.” My response was, “ok?”

We could buy this house and be perfectly safe and happy and content there. Or we could buy a house in a “good” or “better” neighborhood (whatever that means) and get shot anyway! Or hit by a bus, or I don’t know, a plane could fall out of the sky! Or maybe NOTHING bad will happen. You can’t live your life in a bubble. That’s just weird. And I, for one, refuse to walk on eggshells in life, too afraid to take chances and have fun and actually LIVE. I have always been a pessimist but this static from my parents is just ridiculous, even for me. I think if you go through life EXPECTING bad things to come, then I don’t know, maybe the universe bestows that upon you because you set the bar so low for yourself. But I think you just have to *try* to do better. And sometimes, that should be enough. Quite frankly, I’m sick and tired of the negative juju from them and I just want to move on. From the past, from my previous mistakes, from THEM. [/end rant]

Now let us discuss the matter of yarn, and test knitting! (I always have to switch gears and talk about knitting, otherwise my blood pressure will skyrocket and I may give myself a mental breakdown.) Recently I was watching the Ravelry forums radar (interesting, the things that pop up on there!) and saw a post about South West Trading Company needing test knitters. I read through the thread, and people were saying that SWTC had put out a call (on the SWTC group, I believe) and so people had contacted them, and they in turn sent patterns to test knit and they pay in YARN. I figured it couldn’t hurt, so I sent them an email and sure enough, Jonelle emailed me back to say that she could use my help! This week she emailed me the pattern and the yarn is on its way. I’m not sure what I can or can’t say so I’ll just mention that it’s a baby item so it shouldn’t take too long to knit up. I skimmed the pattern and it looks pretty straightforward and I’m really curious to see the yarn I get to work with! Then once the item is finished, I’ll send it back to her and I get paid in SWTC yarn. Very cool!

I still have dreams about setting up a yarnspace in the new house, and I try not to get TOO ahead of myself–we haven’t picked out furniture or anything yet, but I sure have been looking! I think it’s good to have something to occupy my mind in the meantime…otherwise I’ll think about the Galactic Empire* and get depressed.

*or the Death Star, or Darth Vader, or whatever other geeky Star Wars reference you’d like to insert here. On my mobile phone, I have different ring tones set up to play depending on the caller. My ring tone for my parents is The Imperial March.

Posted: May 9th, 2008 under Knitting, My So-Called Life.
Comments: 2

Wow, I actually had to go back and review my last post because I couldn’t remember what I wrote about last, lol…does anyone read this blog anymore?

Well, I was afraid to mention anything for fear of jinxing it, but I’ve already told a select few people and am going to go ahead and announce it: I’m in the process of buying a house! M and I are doing it together, since the cost of living in VA Beach is way more than either of us ever imagined. We’ve been meeting with a home mortgage specialist and realtor, and this week we were given our pre-approval letter for the loan. Last Saturday, we found a townhouse we love, and after discussing it and driving around the neighborhood at night to see if it looked safe, we decided to make an offer. So Friday we’re meeting with our realtor again to draw up the offer paperwork. I AM SO EXCITED!

I wish it could all be good news, but alas, it isn’t. My parents are less than enthusiastic about the neighborhood. They went so far as to claim it’s “rough,” even though I looked up the crime reports for the neighborhood and it’s no worse than where my parents (and I!) are living right now! I would also like to say that although they are my parents, they can be extremely narrow-minded about many things and especially types of people. When they saw the neighborhood and house for themselves, I was told not to buy this house because there are too many (insert racial group here) who live there. That was so saddening because hello, my parents are minorities and they’re making comments about another race? How stupid is that? I guess there are some people who, no matter how old they are, have the most dangerous stereotypes and prejudices ingrained in their minds. And that, to me, is the saddest thing.

Nevertheless, we are going to make an offer on the house. Even after I had it out with my dad last night. I wouldn’t call it a shouting match, but he claims any argument is just me “being stubborn” and the one last night actually ended, I kid you not, with him saying to me–my nearly 28-year-old self, remember–”stop talking back to me and go to your room.” wtf?

Well, I DID, but that’s the last straw. Supposedly he and my mom are giving us a gift to help with the down payment, but I don’t know if they’re still going to after last night. They didn’t say they’ve changed their mind but if they do, oh well. My dad even said, “don’t expect me to go over there at night, I’m not going” and I said, “fine, no one is making you” even though what I was really thinking was, “well after all this, you’re not welcome in our house.” sigh. This is exactly why I need to move out. I’m long overdue. I appreciate the support, mostly financial, that they have given me this past year since I moved back after my divorce, but this is ridiculous. The whole “go to your room” thing would have been comical, if I hadn’t been in tears at the time he said it.

I guess I just feel like it doesn’t matter how well I do, nothing is ever good enough for my parents. Mainly my dad. I told him–look, I work REALLY hard. I have two jobs, I’m going back to school, just LET ME MAKE THIS DECISION. I work *so* hard. I’m exhausted all the time, I was sick all of March, but I’m doing it for a reason. I’m not blowing all my paychecks on yarn and booze. I paid off a $2,600 credit card balance in less than 6 months! Kudos would be nice! But nope, that’s when he pulled out that comment about not coming over to our house because it’s so ooky-spooky DANGEROUS and what not. Even though the crime rate is comparable to my mom and dad’s neighborhood. mmhmm. Pot, meet kettle.

Want to hear the worst? And I quote, courtesy of my dad:

Him: “ok, move there, but when something bad happens to you, you’ll wish you’d listened.”

Me: *mind boggle* “Are you HOPING something bad happens to me??”

Him: “No, I’m not hoping, but WHEN something bad happens, you’ll be sorry.”

zzzzOMGWTFBBQTGIFRIDAYSzzz

But that’s enough of that! I already had my little crying spell last night, now it’s time to pull myself up by my bootstraps (whatever that means) and get down to business!

So yes, M and I are very excited because the house we’re after:

A) is in our budget! Always a plus, right?

B) newly upgraded–new roof, privacy fence in the backyard, new windows, etc.

C) all appliances convey, which apparently is a fancy way of saying that the appliances come with the house. um yes please thank you! Washer, dryer, fridge, stove (apparently some houses really don’t come with a stove–we saw one on Saturday), microwave, etc. That will save us a couple hundred (thousand?) right off the bat!

D) a big fenced backyard for my dogs! yes!! I am SO excited about this part There is a neighborhood park right behind the house, so now they can get their exercise on a regular basis!

I’m just so excited about this. I am deciding to let the cat out of the bag because I feel confident that we’ll be able to work out a deal with the sellers. And, on the chance that we don’t, there are other houses and the world won’t end. BUT, I am still confident about the house and I really think that our lives can only improve. I KNOW mine will! Got to get away from the house of shame and horror, otherwise known as my dad’s place.

I know I am always asking for good juju, so think happy thoughts filled with little houses (one in particular) for me! We should know more on Friday after our meeting with the realtor, so I’ll post more when I find out where we stand!

Posted: May 6th, 2008 under My So-Called Life.
Comments: 8

I just scheduled the payoff payment on my Bank of America credit card. Once it posts to my account, it will be PAID OFF. That leaves just one credit card left, which should take around 6 months to pay off as well.

Posted: April 30th, 2008 under My So-Called Life.
Comments: 2

So, I have tonsillitis. Let’s just get that out there upfront.

But wait, there’s more!

Read more »

Posted: April 24th, 2008 under My So-Called Life.
Comments: 4

Suffice it to say that certain people can be real jackasses sometimes and should BITE ME.

That is all.

Posted: April 21st, 2008 under Mad Rants.
Comments: 3

• I almost hit a squirrel right after I exited the interstate this afternoon! I was still going kind of fast, and it just darted across–I hit the brakes and I could see it sort of freeze in fear and I felt badly because I thought I had hit it! But I drove past and looked in my mirror and it was gone, so phew, it got away!
• oh, and earlier this morning I saw an accident a couple cars behind me on the interstate. There was a backup, and I guess someone wasn’t watching, so they hit the car in front of them, and I think that car might have hit the one in front of IT, so…yikes.
• I’m currently testing the Time Machine feature on Leopard. I’m using my external hard drive as the backup source and it’s taking a while to copy all my files over. But apparently only the initial backup is the longest and subsequent backups will be speedy.
• Lately I’ve been reading a lot. I’m trying to get in as much as I can before the summer semester starts (next month!). Recently I finished The Almost Moon by Alice Sebold, which has an awful rating on Amazon (and awful reviews basically everywhere else), but I thought it was an interesting read. Nevertheless, I don’t see myself re-reading it, so I’ve posted it for swap. Now I’m reading The Book Thief as part of the Ravelry Book Group’s April selection.
• My Ravelry destash has gone really well! There are still some items available but as of right now, I have $124 in PayPal funds pending transfer to my checking account. woohoo! This will be put directly on my main credit card, which is *almost* paid off.
• Re: that credit card–I made a huge mistake last week and accidentally deleted my credit card e-bill. Bank of America charged me a late fee AND took away my promotional 0% APR. I freaked out and almost cried, made a payment, and called them. I asked them to refund the late fee–which they did!–but the girl I talked to said she couldn’t refund the promo APR as well. She said it was the late fee or the APR, one or the other. Well, the next day I called back and spoke to someone else, and he reinstated my promo APR. yay! So, um, yeah, hence the emergency destash on Ravelry. That’ll teach me to pay attention to the things I’m about to delete. yikes.
• I think the next thing I’ll do is sell that albatross I call my engagement ring–I really think it’s bad juju holding on to it for this long! Call me superstitious but I just need to get rid of it!
• I contacted a local realtor and am in the process of scheduling an appointment. (!!!) I just want to sit down with someone and go over the basics and see if it’s even realistic to think about buying a house someday in the near future. I could totally get my hopes shot down, or I could find a great opportunity, like maybe a house that’s affordable since it’s a foreclosure or something…living with my parents continues to drive me batty, more on some days than others–but I really, really want to get my own house.
• Work, by the way, SUCKS. ugh. My main job, mainly. I’m trying to stick it out until I finish my degree, but man–I am just hating it. hatehatehate. The library is going pretty well still though, so that’s a plus!
• I decided recently that I’m going to try to stop eating red meat. (This basically means beef, as I don’t eat venison or anything like that.) I was going to try going vegetarian but that’s such a huge commitment and I don’t think I am prepared for it. So it has been 7 days and I haven’t had any beef. It’s been interesting! I’m doing it for health and partly ethical reasons, though I am still eating fish (mostly tuna) and some chicken. I’m hoping I can stick with it.
• Earth Day is coming up and coinciding with that, I’ve become all enviro-conscious. I switched some of my personal products like shampoo and toothpaste to natural alternatives and I’m also working on reducing and reusing the amount of plastic I consume. I really don’t want this to just be a fad or something, so I’m working on one thing at a time and trying to see how I can make better choices as a consumer.
• I’m going to try to get some knitting done tonight. What a bummer that the work week is about to start again. *sigh* I think the next holiday is Memorial Day next month…maybe I should take a vacation day or something. Goodness knows I need it!

Posted: April 20th, 2008 under My So-Called Life, Randomness.
Comments: 2